Yes, I've had brief moments when I’ve parked in the “Why Me?”
spot myself, but I certainly don't stay for long. Worrying leads nowhere.
I've speculated the many reasons why I got cancer like: Darn,
why didn't I get off those birth control pills sooner? I should've never taken
them. Or maybe it was the root canal and infection that had been growing under
that tooth?
I honestly have no idea why. And there's no point in berating
myself. I love myself way too much! The possibilities are endless, so why go
there? Like Tracy Chapman says in one of her songs, "I'm too old to go
chasing you around, wasting my precious energy." Right on, sister!!
I have one life to live and this is not where I need to park my mind.
No, I choose to set my mind on higher things. So when the
"Why Me?" thoughts nudge their way in, I shift my mind away from
that kind of thinking. I say to myself, "I'm healthy. I'm already healed.
I'm getting better and better each day. I know that you, God, have a better
plan for me. I trust you." I say this to myself everyday in the midst of
my treatments.
Cancer has made some choices for me. I accept that, but I choose
how to set my mind and spirit. It will not take my joy. It will not overrun my
thoughts.
So, I set my gear in reverse, get out of that "Why Me?"
spot, and drive away in peace, towards my beautiful, healthy future.
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